From Blog on August 30, 2020

While we are typically very private people, we have decided to share our journey because we know that there are so many of you who care, love and support us.

We were lucky to find out that we were pregnant right after COVID started. My blood test levels were high so we were joking that we were pregnant with multiples. When I went for the 1st ultrasound, Bryan had to wait in the car (because of COVID) and I was only allowed to text him. The doctor started the ultrasound and said “Oh My God.” I was unsure why that would be his reaction to the ultrasound but quickly learned that we were having quintuplets. We were told they were the rarest form of quintuplets known as quintuplet/quintuplets which meant that they were not identical and were all in their own “sacs.” While only 1 had a heartbeat that week, it was understood that it was very early and that we would know more the following week. I was texting Bryan that we were having “5” “6” “5” “6”. I was in such shock that I couldn’t even hit the right keys on my phone. I honestly just laughed because what else do you do? I was handed the picture of the sonogram and told that we needed to talk to someone about “reduction” and were being referred to Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital in the City.

When I got out to the car, I gave Bryan the ultrasound and he was laughing with me. We didn’t know what else to do. We immediately went home and scheduled our follow-up appointment at the Children’s Hospital.

Our first ultrasound in the city was on April 21st (Happy Birthday Fishy!). We headed in, leaving lots of time because we had to cross the GW Bridge. Because of COVID, it took us 49 minutes door-to-door and we were the ONLY people on the GW which I don’t think many people can say they’ve experienced. It was eerie and of course really nice that we didn’t hit traffic. Bryan of course had to sit in the car illegally parked and wait for me during the appointment. What was nice about this appointment was that they let me FaceTime him so that he could be as much a part of the appointment as he could be. At this appointment, we learned that 4 babies had heartbeats and that we had about 1 more week before it would be too late for the 5th to develop. Again, they discussed the idea of reduction but no one explained why they kept saying we had to reduce. We were advised to meet with our regular OBGYN for prenatal care and to schedule a CVS (a test of each of the babies to determine any genetic issues).

When we met with our regular OBGYN, and he told us that the entire pregnancy was awful and that we needed to reduce to only 1 baby. Of course, Bryan was sitting in the car, listening on the phone, so I left the office beyond devastated. We could not understand why something that is supposed to be so wonderful was so terrible to people.

We went home and were both devastated and immediately started searching the internet for resources and other people who may have had a similar experience. To our excitement, we came across a girl in NJ who had quadruplets last July. She had posted a YouTube video about her experience and we couldn’t believe that it was the exact same thing that we were dealing with. I found her email address and reached out to her in hopes that she might be willing to talk to us. To my surprise, she responded to us later that night. She asked if we would send her our ultrasound and a picture of my driver’s license because a lot of people try to just get information out of her because her story is so unique. I immediately responded and she introduced me to a group of Quadruplet and More Moms. From that point on, we had an amazing resource and support group that we are so incredibly thankful for today. She put us in touch with our more than amazing doctor, Dr. Christopher Houlihan. We had to wait until we hit 16 weeks to meet with Dr. Houlihan, so we continued with all of the tests and care at Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital.

We had our CVS (genetic testing) around 12.5 weeks and found out that our Baby A was not going to develop into a baby and was just a growing sac. We were also told that our Baby B was not looking right on the ultrasound and that our Baby C (Christopher) might have an issue with his umbilical cord. With Bryan on Facetime, the doctor said “since we are doing the CVS, if you want, we can just reduce these babies.” She said she was going to give Bryan and me time to discuss it over FaceTime. I immediately started crying, because how do you decide if you should just reduce your babies in a few seconds and over FaceTime. After realizing how we were feeling, our doctor agreed to do the CVS testing to find out the genetics of the babies before any decisions were made. While this test wasn’t easy, it was something that everyone felt was necessary because of our previous loss in December of a Baby with Trisomy 16.

When we received the results, we learned that our Baby B was diagnosed with a condition called Trisomy 18 (Edward’s Syndrome) which is not compatible with life. While this was devastating news, we knew that it was nothing that we could control. We also learned that they didn’t seem to think that they got results for our Baby D (Brayden) because they seemed to be a mix of Baby B and my genetics, and they were not identical so it just couldn’t be possible. Unfortunately a few days later, something didn’t seem right, so we headed back into the city to find out that Baby B’s heart stopped beating. While it was definitely devastating, it was also a blessing because Baby B was giving his/her brothers (now that we know) a better chance at life.

At this point, we had to schedule a repeat CVS on our Baby D (Brayden) to make sure that he (now that we know) did not have any genetic issues. When we went back into the city to do this, they told us that they couldn’t perform the test because it was too risky because they had to go through Baby A and Baby B to sample Baby D (Brayden). It just didn’t make sense to try it and we respected the doctor’s opinion for being so honest with us. The recommendation was to wait until 16 weeks to do an amniocentisis.

At 16 weeks, we headed back into the city to do the amnio. Usually this is a very easy procedure that takes about 15 minutes. Of course, Baby D (Brayden) did not want to cooperate. Brayden was not happy to have the needle bugging him and tried kicking it away with his foot. When that didn’t work, he tried moving it with his butt. He made a very easy procedure, very difficult and long. The test results all came back normal and we could not have asked for anything better.

We had finally met (Bryan in the car on Facetime of course) with Dr. Houlihan and were excited to have a doctor that we felt we trusted and was not worried about me carrying so many babies. Nothing seemed to be a big deal to him and he seemed like whatever we encountered that he could handle. It was such a sense of relief because we had met a doctor in the same practice a few years ago who was not the nicest to us and told us not to have kids. We then began coming to see Dr. Houlihan pretty much every week. He set a goal of making it to 36 weeks (November 11th), but was very realistic in that we would probably have the babies between 30-32 weeks. We were receiving amazing care and advice and were prepared for almost anything.

While I was having minor complications throughout the entire pregnancy, they were all related to passing Baby A (the sac) and Baby B (Trisomy 18). Typically each one should have taken 2 weeks to pass, so both should have been gone by 16.5/17 weeks. Unfortunately, we know I don’t do things the easy way and had to come into the hospital a few times to check to make sure everything was okay. Bryan was lucky enough to spend 6.5 hours in the car one day (thanks COVID)! Each time, we were told that what was going on was normal for me.

When I came in for my 24 week ultrasound, we were told that Christopher’s water was low and that I would have to return the following week to monitor it. We were also told to make sure our bags were packed (of course they were before 20 weeks) and that I would probably be admitted for bed rest on 8/26 or 9/2. Two days later, something wasn’t right and I had to come in for an emergency appointment. We found out that Christopher’s water was looking better and that the issues I was having were me still passing Baby B. We were cleared to return home.

The night before my 25 week ultrasound appointment, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking that I peed my pants because they boys (now that we know) were so heavy on my bladder. We came in for our appointment (Wednesday, 8/26) and I was told that my water broke. We certainly didn’t think that that was what had happened but at least Bryan couldn’t make me wear the depends he was determined to buy me. I was immediately sent up to Labor and Delivery to be monitored, only to find out that I was having contractions that were 6 minutes apart. At this point it was determined that I was not going home. Since I was admitted, Bryan was FINALLY allowed to come into the hospital. He had to bring all of our bags and was told he couldn’t leave because he wouldn’t be allowed back in (thanks COVID!). I also learned what contractions felt like! I was put on Magnesium to try to slow the contractions down and given steroid shots to try to help the boys lungs grow. We had to sign all consents for c-section, blood transfusions, and for the boys. They also gave us both bracelets for each of the boys as well as attached to me the ones that they would wear. This was all in case of an emergency because they explained that once labor started that they had no way of stopping it. Everyone, including all of the doctors and nurses, were pretty sure that I would be here for weeks.

After 48 hours of monitoring (Friday, 8/28), we were moved into a “long-term” room and were told to go shopping and get food and stuff because this was my new home for a while. Because of COVID, rules were very strict, so Bryan was only allowed to leave to get stuff and come back. Since we were still uneasy as to what exactly was happening, he decided to stay. On Saturday, 8/30, after talking with the nurses and doctors, it seemed like the few contractions I was having were far and few between and after monitoring Christopher’s heart rate, Bryan had decided that he was going to go home for a night or two and come back on Monday. Apparently Christopher didn’t like this idea. Bryan left the hospital at 9:45pm to only receive a call to come back at 11:15pm. My contractions had increased to every 5 minutes or less and were extremely strong. Christopher’s heart rate was up high and was a bit of a concern, so I was rushed over to Labor and Delivery.

Bryan arrived in Labor and Delivery about 2 minutes after I had gotten there. I was having extremely strong contractions and they were less than 5 minutes apart. I didn’t realize how strong they were and I guess was in denial that they were extreme, however the monitors don’t really lie to the nurses. Bryan could also see that I was actually in pain even though I said it wasn’t bad. They immediately started me on magnesium and some IV fluids and were monitoring Christopher’s heart rate. The magnesium helped a little and I was able to get some sleep. The nurse who was in the room was amazing. She was so patient with us and totally understood me. She left a lifelong impact on me. Early the next morning, after Bryan was able to get a little sleep on a couch in the room, we were informed by the morning nurse (who was also amazing) that I was NPO. We knew that that meant that ready or not, these babies were coming. I was prepped for a c-section and wheeled to the operating room. I had no idea what to expect, but it was explained to us that the babies would be taken out and each taken by a separate NICU team to ensure that they were receiving the necessary care. The hope was to show us each baby as he/she came out, but we knew that it may not happen. I was alert and awake the entire c-section and Bryan sat with me as we laughed when they said “it’s a boy” 3 times in a row. He would have bet anyone one million dollars that they were all girls. I truthfully thought they were going to be a mix or all boys. We certainly did laugh that the Del Grosso Grandsons were now 8 and there were still no granddaughters.

Bryan was whisked away from the operating room to the NICU for a moment to be told what was going on with the boys and asked if he wanted to be with them. He decided that he wanted to be with me and came back up to the operating room. I knew what was happening as I had heard them giving CPR to Christopher as they wheeled him away. Bryan stayed with me and the nurses and our doctor brought us to recovery. Our doctor sat at my side during recovery. We learned that Christopher had passed away as his lungs were just not developed enough. We knew the NICU team did everything that they could and were very numb to the situation. A few minutes later, the head of the NICU came up and told us that they were doing everything they could to save Brayden but that he had a bleed in his lung that they couldn’t control. We were holding onto hope and positivity that he would pull-through but knew what was about to happen. We focused on getting me to the NICU to meet the boys and praying that Zachary would be okay.

I was wheeled to the NICU after about an hour and Bryan and I got to meet all 3 of our boys. We were able to hold Christopher and Brayden and I got to hold Zachary’s hand. We then went to the room to recover and fill in our families.

The hospital was absolutely wonderful to us and told us that we could say our “goodbyes” to Christopher and Brayden if we wanted and that they would allow our parents to come and see them. We set this up and when I got in the wheelchair to go to the NICU, I passed out and the rapid response team quickly arrived in the room. I knew I didn’t feel well but was determined to be able to spend some time with our boys. Luckily, the hospital was able to accommodate and brought the boys up to us.

The next morning, I was told that I needed a blood transfusion so we weren’t able to go see Zachary as early as we wanted. The NICU nurses call you on facetime every morning and every night, so we received word that Zachary was on 21% oxygen which is what we breathe. We were so excited to hear that he was doing well! I received two transfusions of blood and then we headed down to spend time with Zachary. He is so incredibly tiny so we just sat at his bedside because we didn’t want him to get an infection by touching him. He is constantly moving and doesn’t like to be bothered. They NICU nurses facetime us twice a day, and they have a camera system so that we can watch Zachary anytime we want. Unfortunately, due to COVID, visits are limited to two 2 hour visits per day.

The entire staff at this hospital that we have interacted with have all been so incredibly amazing and wonderful. We can’t thank them enough for the impacts that they have made on us in just a few short days. We feel like we have known them for years and know that they care about our boys as if they were there own. Things seemed to be as good as we could imagine for the unfathomable situation that we were in.

RIP our little angels. Mommy and Daddy love you!

Christopher Porter Del Grosso 08.30.2020 – 08.30.2020

Brayden Ranger Del Grosso 08.30.2020 – 08.30.2020